WTF Is an Herbal Ally? How to Know When a Plant Is Choosing You

You don’t pick your herbal allies.

They pick you.

I know, I know - it might sound like something out of a folk tale or a fever dream, but if you’ve ever found yourself repeatedly drawn to the same plant, noticed it showing up in unexpected places, or dreamt about it without explanation, then you’ve already begun the work.

This is the beauty of herbal allyship. It doesn’t start with memorizing a book or buying a bulk order of rare herbs. It starts with a pull - a whisper in the bones. A feeling of, “you’re meant to know me.”

So what exactly is an herbal ally? And how do you know when a plant is choosing you?

What Is an Herbal Ally?

An herbal ally is more than just a plant you use - it’s a plant spirit that walks beside you through a chapter of your life. These allies offer guidance, healing, and insight. Sometimes they support you through physical illness. Sometimes they walk with you during a time of emotional unraveling. Sometimes, they simply remind you of your own power.

An herbal ally doesn’t always make sense at first. You may not even know what it’s “for.” But the relationship reveals itself over time - through dreams, sensations, rituals, and remembrance.

This is not about extraction. It’s about relationship. About listening to the plants as kin, as guides, and as teachers.

How to Know When a Plant Is Choosing You

Here are some ways a plant might let you know it’s reaching out:

1. You keep dreaming about it

When a specific herb keeps appearing in your dreams - especially in symbolic or repeated ways - it’s often trying to communicate with you. Mugwort, rose, yarrow, and violet are common dream messengers.

2. It shows up everywhere

You hear about it in a podcast, then it pops up in a book, then you see it growing near your home. Plants have a way of making themselves known when they want to work with you. Mugwort had been calling to me for several weeks and I finally decided to answer her growing whispers. After making tea and dreaming with her I was at a dear family friend’s house - this friend used to take care of me when I was little. I spent so much of my time barefoot at her house in the summers and had no idea that a patch of Mugwort was right in my path the whole time. It was about 5 years ago that I noticed - just after my journey with Mugwort had really begun.

3. You feel something when you’re near it

Sometimes it’s a warmth in the chest, a tingling in your palms, or even unexpected tears. These somatic signals often mean your body recognizes the spirit of the plant. Yarrow is one of these for me. She has pulled at me since I was a baby in these blue mountains. Even now she stops me dead in my tracks with her energy and it takes a moment before I notice her with my physical eyes.

4. It helped you through a hard time

Maybe lemon balm soothed your anxious heart during grief (I can speak to this one personally). Maybe rose helped you remember your softness after betrayal. When a plant becomes a companion during pain, it’s worth exploring that relationship more deeply.

5. You just know

Sometimes there’s no logical reason - you simply feel drawn. Trust that. Your intuition often knows what your mind has yet to understand.

How to Deepen the Relationship

Once a plant has made itself known, here are a few ways to honor and grow the connection:

Make tea or an infusion

Sit with the plant in a quiet space. Sip slowly, without distraction. See what you feel, what images arise, what messages come.

Carry or anoint with it

Keep a sprig in your pocket or use an infused oil on your skin. This allows the plant to walk with you throughout your day.

Journal with the prompt:

“What are you here to teach me?”

Let your writing flow without overthinking. Sometimes the plant will speak through your own hand.

Create an offering or altar

Place the herb on your altar with a candle, a small bowl of water, or a personal object. Offer a moment of stillness and gratitude. This is how you begin to cultivate mutual respect. If you need help with setting up an altar you can visit my altar post here.

Common Herbal Allies and Why They Might Be Choosing You

Yarrow

You’re learning to set energetic boundaries, shield your field, or process old wounds and trauma. Yarrow often arrives when you’re reclaiming your sovereignty.

Rose

You’re being called to soften, open, and remember the sacredness of your own heart. Rose helps with emotional healing, self-worth, and beauty rituals.

Mugwort

You’re entering a time of intuition, dreaming, or shadow integration. Mugwort is a guide through liminal spaces and inner vision work.

Lemon Balm

You’re recovering from stress, grief, or burnout. Lemon balm brings calm, joy, and emotional sweetness to those who’ve been carrying too much.

Skullcap

You’re navigating mental overload, insomnia, or emotional fatigue. Skullcap helps quiet the mind and ease tension in the nervous system.

Motherwort

You’re feeling waves of rage, grief, or overwhelm. Motherwort offers fierce mothering energy and is especially powerful for matrilineal healing and emotional release.

Ritual: Calling in Your Herbal Ally

This simple practice can help you open the door to deeper connection:

1. Cleanse your space using smoke, salt, or sound.

2. Light a candle and sit with the plant - either in tea form, dried, fresh, or as an oil.

3. Place your hand on your heart and say:

“Plant spirit, I feel you. I’m open to your medicine.

Show me how to walk with you.”

4. Close your eyes and notice what sensations, emotions, or thoughts arise.

5. Journal your experience. Repeat as often as needed. Relationship is built over time.

Working with an herbal ally isn’t about control. It’s about reverence. Presence. Trust.

These plant spirits do not exist to serve us - they exist to meet us. To remind us that we are part of the same great web. That healing is not always linear, and wisdom is not always loud.

When you feel the pull - honor it.

The right plant will come when you are ready.

And when it does?

You’ll know. Not because you read it in a book, but because your soul will exhale and say, “There you are.”

If you’re ready to meet your herbal allies and deepen your connection to the plants, join me in the Witchy Shit series where we explore earth magic, energy work, and plant-based ritual for the modern witch.

Until then, I’ll be here -

Clutching my quartz and sipping something sacred.